The Final Conclusion

Okay, after the last posting and now, it' been just less than two weeks. In that amount of time I've come to the conclusion that friends are just NOT worth the flesh they're made of. To hammer that point home to those idiots that just don't seem to understand that shit stinks, I've gone through all the sites I inhabit and deleted the majority of the people that were old friends, new friends, "other" friends, and anything else you'd have listed. Out of the over 150 people i've talk to, emailed, or whatever over the past 1 1/2 years, only 3 of the bastards even realized that they were missing from my profile.

Of course they want re-added and of course, me being the high strung drama queen everyone expects me to be, told them fuck no. So then begins the "Why'd you delete me? Why'd you delete me? Why'd you delete me? Why'd you delete me?" To help them understand, I explain to them why I deleted people. On some sites, ALL people. "But why'd you delete ME?" BITCH, can any of you tell me my middle name? Do any of you KNOW my true age? What I'm looking for? What I'm attracted to? What motivates half the shit I do?

Case in point. A little bit ago I loaned the "Will & Grace" in my life some money for gas on the understanding that they would pay me back. I didn't go after the money, nor expect it back in a timely manner. I figure when I got it back, it would be whenever they were ready and could afford to pay me. A few weeks pass and I ask HIM to go out with me and have fun. Um, that would've been about 2 weeks ago. He whines about not having any money, so I say, "Well, SHE owes me that money, so we can use that money for you." He's like all YAY!, then I never heard back from him. Hence part of the debacle 2 weeks ago.

So, as I rage and write off the losers in my life, I sent them a message stating that I would gift them the money. "Friends are just fucking amazing, aren't they?" Me at my sarcastic best. So now, all of a sudden, I have text messages on my phone from them. It's either going to be, "Oh, thank you" or "You said HE could use it" or "HUH?" Neither one of them get the idea that I'm writing them out of my life for good.

To be fair, I haven't read the messages, and they be all polite and contrite and oh so very FUCKING SORRY. You know, friendship is a two way street. I've always been there for them, going out of my way to help when I didn't feel like I had an obligation to. Where were they when I needed them? I need to get out, be with friends I can understand and who can relate to me. Why couldn't ANY of them, not just HIM and HER, be there for me?

It's quite simple why. There are people in society who like to help, like to give of themselves for those around them, until it destroys them. The rest of society is just there to use and abuse the first group because they just do not have the compassion and decency to do the right thing. Not necessarily the safe thing, but the right thing.

Well, enough of this. I don't feel sorry about what I'm doing. All through my life I've reached a certain amount bullshit from people then I cut my losses and move on. I never EVER look back with regret on any of my actions. My philosophy will now be: If my friends can not take the time to be with me when I need them, then I don't need them, and they will never be my friends.

Call me an asshole, a high-strung drama queen, a fucking bitch on a tirade. You know what, I've been called worse by my friends, there's nothing my enemies or strangers can do to make me feel worse.