Goodbye my friend, goodbye my lover

Most of you who read this will probably never know why I'm grieving. You can never really understand. Hell, even though I'm the one grieving, and I know why, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Over the last 2 posts I've talked about Chris. We met for 5 minutes while I was working, so I didn't get a real chance to know him. However, there was something about the eyes that I usually fall for. There's a look in the eyes (my mother calls it the "deer in the headlights" look) that causes me to fall for someone rather fast. It's a look of innocence, even if they're the least innocent person in a 5-county radius. Chris has this look in his eyes, which makes him all the more handsome.

For whatever reason, when I found out he was interested in dating me, I allowed myself to look into myself and out toward the future to see what I could see. I saw a future that wasn't easy, but was working. The two of us, over time, fell in love. The future was nice and I allowed myself to live it for 1 night.

Now, for the whole reason I grieve. I spoke with GrannyC today. Chris is gone. Not dead, gone, and she has no idea how to get hold of him again. In just 3 minutes the words she spoke took my (potential) friend, lover, and future away.

Here's the gist of what happened. Chris was living with some friends and had paid up his share of the rent. However, his friends had not. The apartment complex where he lived has a lawyer on speed dial, who has a judge on speed dial, who will sign an ILLEGAL 24-hour eviction notice. To the Sheriff it all appears legal, even though I'm sure the State of Ohio would have a shitload to say. They had to be out of the apartment by 11 pm Tuesday night. Needless to say, by the time GrannyC got home, he was already gone.

All she knows is that one of the guys left and took the majority of Chris' stuff. Chris is moving/following the other friend to live in the Bottoms (those of you in Columbus, OH, know how bad THAT is). He told GrannyC's grandson that he would not survive the week there. He has no money, no job, no car, no real friends, and no place to live.

I empathize with him in ways that I never would have with anyone else. Two years ago I was in a similar situation. I feel so for him that I feel like I've been sucker punched a dozen times today. I want to help him so bad, but he is gone. Literally gone.

I told GrannyC that if her grandson heard from him, to give him my number anyway. Why? I may not be able to do much for him, but I can at least ensure he gets a hot meal once a week, a shower, a change of clean clothes, and a friend he can lean on when he needs it.

So, even though we never had anything: Goodbye my friend, goodbye my lover.

The Boy, The Man

I finally got to talk to GrannyC yesterday. She was up visiting her aunt, which means Tay couldn't get hold of her all weekend and she had no clue. Well, at least from my perspective.

After the usual pleasantries, I said, "What rock did you dig him out from under? The guy's gorgeous!"

"Didn't I tell ya!"

"Of course, I forgot to give him my phone number. We've been trying to call you all weekend so you could give it to him..."

"I've been up in Delaware visiting my aunt..." So she tells her story. "I talked to him yesterday. He said you were nice, but that you didn't seem interested because you didn't give him your phone number." OMG! SO I hand her a piece of paper with my name and number on it. "I'll talk to him..."

Guess who obsessed on his mobile phone all day and night. HEHEHE, I'm so hopeless.

I get to see GrannyC again today, so I'll chat her up and see what he had to say. Tay and I speculated that 1) she lost my number, 2) she forgot, 3) he's really not interested but already had an out, 4) his boyfriend came back and now he's off the market, or 5) he's as nervous as I am (which is nervous as a virgin during sex).

I'm hoping for 1 or 5. Anything else is unacceptable. LOL

Wish me more luck. I'm using up whole supply on this one.

Yossi and Jagger

Not only is the music cool, evidently this video is based on a true story.

I'm Too Stupid

OK, get this. I made a deal with the girls at work. Since I'm incapable of finding a decent guy on my own, I left it up to them. If they can get me someone to date and it lasts a month and looks like it will go forward into the future, then I will take them out to dinner (the girls... well, the date, too).

In comes GrannyC. She has this "boy" that her grandsons know. According to her, he's not as tall as me, not as thin, nor as cute, but she thinks we should meet and see if something comes of it. This was on Wednesday.

Today, Friday, I'm like, "Sug, where's this lil stud puppy you wanted me to meet?"

"He ain't been here yet?"

"Nope."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. I really think you'll like him..." At this point she reiterates how he's a lot like me (physically (but not as cute) and everything else).

So, around about 4ish I'm elbow deep in dishes and Tay starts talking to this cute guy. Next thing I hear, "David!"

"Be right there...." I dry off my hands and walk over. "Hi..."

"Hi, I'm Chris."

"Hi, Chris, what can I do for you?"

"Um," he kinda looks around like, oh shit, wrong person, "Patty wanted me to stop by and say hi."

"OOOOH!" I smile and Tay leaves. "Patty never said your name." SHIZ, Patty got it ALL wrong. Sure, not as tall as me (about 1 inch shorter) and he's not as thin as me (he's very slender) and he's not as cute as me (he's a fucking HOTTIE). GODS, both Tay and I were truly drooling over this man (where da fuck did Patty get BOY from?).

Continuing:

"So, when do you get off?"

"Not until 11 PM."

"Oh."

"I'm THE closer around here. Fortunately, I've got the weekend off."

"Well, I'm here for dinner. I feel like steak."

And off he goes. Um, did anyone notice what I forgot? Go ahead, reread it all, I won't mind, I'm not going anywhere.

Fuck yeah, that's right, dumbass here forgot to give Chris his PHONE NUMBER! JEEZ!!! Somedays I'm too stupid to be allowed near potentials. Hell, my main wing chick, Tay, didn't even remind me. After I kicked myself in the ass a few times, I gave Tay the whatfor also.

Fortunately for me, Tay loves me and has Patty's phone number. So, sometime this weekend she's going to talk to Patty and give Patty my number to give to Chris. That way, if Chris is interested, he can get hold of me and we can set up a date.

Wish me luck, kittens. Wish me LUCK!