Goodbye my friend, goodbye my lover

Most of you who read this will probably never know why I'm grieving. You can never really understand. Hell, even though I'm the one grieving, and I know why, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Over the last 2 posts I've talked about Chris. We met for 5 minutes while I was working, so I didn't get a real chance to know him. However, there was something about the eyes that I usually fall for. There's a look in the eyes (my mother calls it the "deer in the headlights" look) that causes me to fall for someone rather fast. It's a look of innocence, even if they're the least innocent person in a 5-county radius. Chris has this look in his eyes, which makes him all the more handsome.

For whatever reason, when I found out he was interested in dating me, I allowed myself to look into myself and out toward the future to see what I could see. I saw a future that wasn't easy, but was working. The two of us, over time, fell in love. The future was nice and I allowed myself to live it for 1 night.

Now, for the whole reason I grieve. I spoke with GrannyC today. Chris is gone. Not dead, gone, and she has no idea how to get hold of him again. In just 3 minutes the words she spoke took my (potential) friend, lover, and future away.

Here's the gist of what happened. Chris was living with some friends and had paid up his share of the rent. However, his friends had not. The apartment complex where he lived has a lawyer on speed dial, who has a judge on speed dial, who will sign an ILLEGAL 24-hour eviction notice. To the Sheriff it all appears legal, even though I'm sure the State of Ohio would have a shitload to say. They had to be out of the apartment by 11 pm Tuesday night. Needless to say, by the time GrannyC got home, he was already gone.

All she knows is that one of the guys left and took the majority of Chris' stuff. Chris is moving/following the other friend to live in the Bottoms (those of you in Columbus, OH, know how bad THAT is). He told GrannyC's grandson that he would not survive the week there. He has no money, no job, no car, no real friends, and no place to live.

I empathize with him in ways that I never would have with anyone else. Two years ago I was in a similar situation. I feel so for him that I feel like I've been sucker punched a dozen times today. I want to help him so bad, but he is gone. Literally gone.

I told GrannyC that if her grandson heard from him, to give him my number anyway. Why? I may not be able to do much for him, but I can at least ensure he gets a hot meal once a week, a shower, a change of clean clothes, and a friend he can lean on when he needs it.

So, even though we never had anything: Goodbye my friend, goodbye my lover.