Thursday's Dirty Details IV

Scene IV: The Trek HomeScene IV: The Trek Home

Now, I know that scenes I, II, and III can stand on their own, but I also know that scene IV cannot. After all, you'll all want to know why I was stranded in downtown Columbus at 1 in the am. SO, to keep you sane, I ask that you please read scene I, scene II, and scene III before proceeding with this story.

SO, there I was, standing outside of Garrett's Saloon, somewhere in or near German Village. The people who had brought me there were MIA. What is a little gay boy (OK, maybe not so little at 6 foot 200 lbs) to do?

Call a cab? Not in Columbus. Costs way too much.

Catch the bus? Um, not at that time of night.

Hmmm, guess it's time to walk. And walk. And walk. It took over an hour to get back where I belong, and I am NOT a slow walker. So there I was, cruising my way through the city streets, talking to myself, laughing hysterically, and generally freaking out anybody who crossed my path. A couple of cops actually did a slow cruise by me and checked me out. Of course, I did manage the psychosis I was feeling from too much alcohol. Actually, less than psychosis. My friend Jay said the best way to stay safe downtown, at night, is act crazy.

So, crazy I acted.

Finally, at about 1:15 am or so, I made it back to the Union Station. I walk in to get another drink, since I thought I needed it, and Kyle is like, "You're back!" So I explained where I ended up and he said, "That's near where I live." (Hmmmm, nice to know.) So I get another Long Island and a glass of water.

Then Howie shows up and he's like, "You're back!" Yeah, yeah, I'm back. So I explain to him what happened and that I had just finished walking back. "That's a long walk!" DUH, tell me about it! I sit there until about two or so, drinking my water and barely sipping my Long Island.

As I'm sitting there, I someone start running their hands thru my hair. Hmmmm. "This had better be a serious come on," I say. Then they grab my hair, pull back hard, and start kissing me. I think I was in shock because I actually started kissing this WOMAN back!!!! GAG!!!!!! It was wet, sloppy, and drunk, so totally not what I wanted at that point. To be honest, the urge to be sick is still there, even after 6 days. I'm not kidding, but making out with a guy is SOOO much more what I wanted at that point. (Did I ever mention that I turn slutty when I get drunk?)

After biting my lip she finally stopped and left the bar. I took a hefty swig of Long Island and scrubbed my lips with a napkin. After waiting a few minutes, and making sure she wasn't waiting for me outside, I left as well.

As I start my trek to the BFE of the Short North where I was going to crash for the night, I run into Howie. He was power walking toward me, carrying a bag in each hand. "Lunch or dinner?" I ask.

"Both," he said. "I haven't eaten a thing all day."

"That's not good."

"Heading home?"

"Close to home."

"Be careful."

"After what already happened, no worries there."

He laughed and I kept going. Eventually I made it to my bed for the night, sent an email to my friend Jay (who seems to enjoy my antics), and then I crashed. Hard.

Kittens, that was my night. On Monday I had another night worth mentioning, but... I'm afraid that one is a little too emotional at the moment. In fatto, penso che voglio che sera per me solo. (very bad Italian, but it has been awhile)

Well, tomorrow is Thursday again and it's time for more fun in the moon!