Sorry it's been so long. I know I've been remiss in finishing this lovely story and now it's been two weeks since the fun and everything is getting hazy. On the flip side, tho, I'm taking a large group out tonight. I'll call the next one "Gypsies, Tramps, & Thieves". Simply put, it's gays, lesbos, and str8ies. LOL.
Anyway, on with the show, after an intermission for my caffeine fix:
So where did I leave off. Oh yeah, the "I'm straight!"
Of course, you shoulda seen the look on my face. So I turn and look and there is this guy sitting over there, glasses, beard, decent clothes. But very str8. Of course, here I go. I start working on him, giving him the "I know you say you're str8, but you're in gay bar and I'll convert you" routine. Yes, I know you all know what that is. Hell, I'm sure you've all worked it a few times yourself. If you haven't, you should. It's a MIND SCRAMBLE.
So I find out that he's there with this group of people. The lesbian I told the tale to, two str8 girls, and a gay man. The str8 man is the gay man's employee. They had all been at the same drag show we had.
I tease and torture him about wanting to try the dark side (for him) so he could see what it's like and all. He denies it, of course. So my final parting shot is, "You know, you should just go ahead and do your underling here. No one will ever have to know and it will be your little secret."
Then I turn to the gay man and say, "Then, whenever you want a raise, you can just go to him." Ah, double entendres, my specialty. No one got the dual meaning except the str8 man. OMG! It makes me wonder just how str8 str8ie is...
At this point they go back inside and it's all over and done with.
Amber then asks, "Are those two over there really lesbians?" I look and say, "Um, yeah. The one on the right is. The one on the left is working to become a man." That's all I'm going to say on that. I made a major faux pas and I'm not going embarrass myself further by repeating it.
As we are leaving the patio, I see the guy I sorta kinda went out with several weeks ago (see "A Friday with Bagelbuoy" at http://bagelbuoy.blogspot.com. I tell him what Amber said and I once again reiterate, "Other than the one fluke, there are no str8 men here!"
"I'm straight!"
AAARRRGGGHHH. What is this, a conspiracy to make me look stupid???
So I turn my body and... OMG, this guy is HOT, with a double capital HOT. Dark hair and eyes, pale skin, fucking nice body (dude has to work out a LOT). Tasty! I really don't remember all that I said after that. I mean, c'mon, 4 rum and cokes and 5 jell-o shots later I'm looking at the most delicious specimen of maleness I have ever seen (sorry guys).
I'll give a synopsis of what I said. I did the whole str8 guy gay bar routine. Of course he laughs (lemme melt). I finally said, "Look, just give me 5 minutes in some dark corner. After that, you can go back to your girlfriend (who is nearby, lucky dog that she is). BUT, once you have good dick, you'll never go back to chick."
"But I've already got myself a good dick," he replies in that mind-fuckingly sultry bedroom voice of his, as he looks at my crotch then his.
"Really? If it's all that good, let me have a ride on it and I'll tell ya."
LOL, dude's face went completely blank. Then there was a smile, almost like he was thinking OK, then a twinkle in his eyes, and a full belly roaring laugh. "OMG," he says. "I knew you were thinking that, but I didn't think you had the balls to say it out loud!"
Shortly after this, when it's obvious that he isn't going to do anything with this "girlfriend" around, we say goodbye. He turns back to his friends and Amber and I leave the patio. Before I do, however, I just can't help with one last parting repartee. A physical one. I place my hand on the right butt cheek, move it across to the left butt cheek, and give it a nice, firm, squeeze. He turns and looks at me with a look like, "Who the FUCK is touching me", but he smiles real broad when he sees me and it's all OK.
After we're inside and Amber and I are getting all school girlish about the hottie, she's like, "Look." I look around but don't see anything. "OMG, look at that." I look around, but still it's niente. "Over there! BUTT CHEEKS!!!" So I finally see what's she's getting all googly about. There's a dude, wearing chaps and a thong, butt cheeks flapping in the wind.
"So? You see that all the time in here!" OMG, str8 girls are sooo fun.
Anyway, I get another drink (note: now 5 rum and cokes and 5 jell-o shots and I'm still coherent!) and head to the smaller bar that I like to call the make-out spot. We sit and talk about a variety of subjects totally unrelated to the topic of the story, when she says, "There's your new boyfriend." I look where she's pointing and there he is, 2d str8ie from the smoking patio. So, we sit there, talking. Well, she's talking, I'm making grunting noises as I watch that stud and imagine all the wickedly wild things I want to do to him.
As I'm watching, tho, I see that's he's talking to a guy I know. Well, sorta kinda know. Let's just say that I've seen him around, I've seen him almost naked (fucking nice chest), but have never "known" him. He's talking to Hottie. As I'm watching, Nice Chest leans forward, Hottie leans forward, and it looks like they kiss. OH NO HE DIDN'T! As Mr. Nice Chest leaves, I race down the steps and say, "What the hell was that?" At this point, my inner diva comes out and I start playing the jealous little queen.
"Uh..."
"You're 'not' gay and you give a kiss to the biggest manwhore in the bar? Dude!"
"I didn't kiss him."
"I was up there, I saw the whole thing!!!" I point toward Amber and she waves with that cheesy smile of hers.
"We didn't kiss. Honestly!!!"
"Uh huh!" I've got one hand on my hips and I'm waving one finger in his face. You ALL know what that is like. "You just stay right here. I'm going to keep an eye on you." I give him the once over (twice), "Two eyes, actually!"
The whole time I'm doing this he's laughing with me. He's not taking me serious and I'm not being serious. I go back up to where Amber is and sit a flounce. Then I get all schoolgirlish with her. HOWEVER, Hottie doesn't move from that position for the rest of the night. Also, somehow, he managed to keep that body of his in unrestricted view, until his girlfriend comes back.
In time, Amber is ready to leave. The big hookup is about to begin, and I try to tell her that we want to stay to see who is going home with whom, but she just doesn't care. As we are leaving, I stop and make one last play for Hottie. "How about this. You, me and girlfriend in a threesome. She can get her thing on with you, I can get my thang on with you, and you can decide which you like better. Then, you can do her up the hoohoo and I'll do you up the woowoo and everyone will be satisfied."
For a second, just a second, I see the temptation in his eyes. But then skank hugs him and starts rubbing his chest with one hand and the temptation is gone. Bitch just wouldn't play the game! Unless, of course, she knew he would like it too much...
Anyway, I say, "Fine, you can go home with her and get your groove on. But I gotta go home with this so she can get her groove on with her husband. What do I get, Mr. Left Hand?"
"Aww, I'm sorry. I'll give you a hug."
Exsqueezeme? "You so kind." He gives me a nice, long, manly man type of hug. I was SOOO tempted to start nibbling on his neck, but I was in control (barely). After about 10 seconds or so, I step back. Not him, me. I tell him how sweet and hot he is and give him a little blessing. Like I had the energy to spare for a blessing, but he was worth it.
Thus it ends. Another adventure over and recorded for posterity. I just wish I had his posterior. LOL.
A domani, when I'll have another adventure to write!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Drag Queens, Lesbians, Straight Boys and Me
Picture it, Sicily, 1908, lonely woman boards a ship bound for the US. Fast forward to 100 years later. Lonely house wife/fag hag calls her favourite homo. "Dude, Justin is going out with the boys. Let's do something. I WANNA SEE A DRAG QUEEN SHOW!" So, trusty mo gets on the net and voila! A show is found.
We get to Someplace Else (actual name of the bar) and it's dead. I mean DEAD! Where the fuck are the cute boys??? I see lesbians, older mos, a few twinks from the bad end of the gene pool, and a couple of guys who, at the best of times, might be called bar trolls, but are way past their prime. So we get few drinks (not good drinks, either) and grab a table.
Ooops, we arrived to early. Boredom. Look at the lebsian, look at the trolls, watch a couple of guys come in. The place is filling up. Oh, look, jell-o shots! Awesome!!!
Lil note on jell-o shot boy. He's twink, he's got spikey blonde hair, penciled eyebrows, tall. Totally enjoyable. On the second go around, I flirt with him a bit. I luvs to flirt! As jell-o shot boy is leaving he gives me the once over with his eyes. Once down then back up. As he meets my eyes he smiles. Niiiice.
Amber and I giggle a bit, get 3 more shots from the boy, and the show BEGINS! Wooot. It's a typical drag queen show. Men in flambouyant dresses and over done make-up. Bad lip-syncing and what you might call dancing if you were drunk and had a concussion. After a few acts, we leave.
Amber is like, "Dude, why did they put the best on first?" Sweetie, it's like this. It's a GAY BAR. You're there to drink, get drunk, and hook up. The show is a way to sweeten the mood. They put the best on first simply because by the end, you're so drunk you don't realize how bad the last one is.
So, off we go to TradeWinds. Yes, boys and girls, the hookup center of Columbus. We get there, get a drink, then I show her around. Ooops, bathroom break. Ooops, two guys by a urinal. One pissing the other helping him piss, hand on his penis and all. OK, I'm using the stall, I don't need help.
I go out, but Amber had to get a key. DUH. So as she goes in, I watch a shirtless man (thin, but defined) making out with his boyfriend. HEY, stop moving down there. That's THEM, not ME!
Amber comes out, I show her the toy/leather shop (there are a couple of items I WANT, but not that I NEED. Yet. They're sold out of the vibrating rubber penis', so I guess I'll have to wait until next time.
We go out to the smoking patio. As we sit there, I start talking to the lesbian across from me. At some point I say, "My friend and I figured out how lesbian's came into being." The blank look on her face says I've got her hooked. I move to sit next to her and say, "Here's how it goes. Back in the day, when humans where hunter gatherers, men would go out on their own. Of course, sex would happen. Men who liked to fuck men probably screwed the more manly women (can we say, bisexual) and, after a bit, the gene was there and homosexuals were created. After a bit, the ice age cometh. Then the bane of all men happened: SHRINKAGE! The cold was so intense that some men's penis' pulled back so far that they re-entered the body and became vaginas and the testicles pull and became ovaries. A few chemical alterations happened and voila: lesbians!
Then Amber says, "These men can't be gay." Uh, hello, GAY BAR. So I say, after a bit of explanation, that there aren't any str8 guys around.
"I'm straight!" WTF!
(To be continued...)
We get to Someplace Else (actual name of the bar) and it's dead. I mean DEAD! Where the fuck are the cute boys??? I see lesbians, older mos, a few twinks from the bad end of the gene pool, and a couple of guys who, at the best of times, might be called bar trolls, but are way past their prime. So we get few drinks (not good drinks, either) and grab a table.
Ooops, we arrived to early. Boredom. Look at the lebsian, look at the trolls, watch a couple of guys come in. The place is filling up. Oh, look, jell-o shots! Awesome!!!
Lil note on jell-o shot boy. He's twink, he's got spikey blonde hair, penciled eyebrows, tall. Totally enjoyable. On the second go around, I flirt with him a bit. I luvs to flirt! As jell-o shot boy is leaving he gives me the once over with his eyes. Once down then back up. As he meets my eyes he smiles. Niiiice.
Amber and I giggle a bit, get 3 more shots from the boy, and the show BEGINS! Wooot. It's a typical drag queen show. Men in flambouyant dresses and over done make-up. Bad lip-syncing and what you might call dancing if you were drunk and had a concussion. After a few acts, we leave.
Amber is like, "Dude, why did they put the best on first?" Sweetie, it's like this. It's a GAY BAR. You're there to drink, get drunk, and hook up. The show is a way to sweeten the mood. They put the best on first simply because by the end, you're so drunk you don't realize how bad the last one is.
So, off we go to TradeWinds. Yes, boys and girls, the hookup center of Columbus. We get there, get a drink, then I show her around. Ooops, bathroom break. Ooops, two guys by a urinal. One pissing the other helping him piss, hand on his penis and all. OK, I'm using the stall, I don't need help.
I go out, but Amber had to get a key. DUH. So as she goes in, I watch a shirtless man (thin, but defined) making out with his boyfriend. HEY, stop moving down there. That's THEM, not ME!
Amber comes out, I show her the toy/leather shop (there are a couple of items I WANT, but not that I NEED. Yet. They're sold out of the vibrating rubber penis', so I guess I'll have to wait until next time.
We go out to the smoking patio. As we sit there, I start talking to the lesbian across from me. At some point I say, "My friend and I figured out how lesbian's came into being." The blank look on her face says I've got her hooked. I move to sit next to her and say, "Here's how it goes. Back in the day, when humans where hunter gatherers, men would go out on their own. Of course, sex would happen. Men who liked to fuck men probably screwed the more manly women (can we say, bisexual) and, after a bit, the gene was there and homosexuals were created. After a bit, the ice age cometh. Then the bane of all men happened: SHRINKAGE! The cold was so intense that some men's penis' pulled back so far that they re-entered the body and became vaginas and the testicles pull and became ovaries. A few chemical alterations happened and voila: lesbians!
Then Amber says, "These men can't be gay." Uh, hello, GAY BAR. So I say, after a bit of explanation, that there aren't any str8 guys around.
"I'm straight!" WTF!
(To be continued...)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
A Friday with Bagelbuoy
Wanna hear about what I did Friday night? NOTE: I said what, not who!
Here we go:
So, anyway, I've come to the conclusion that alcohol and gay men are not a good mix. "Details, boyo", I hear you say. "Details!"
Let's just say that I went out on a "date" to see if me and this dude were compatible. You know, it's one of those sites where you have the option of not showing the face. He said his name was Erico, so I was thinking "Latino". Latino I can do. So, we're talking (before the date) and his voice isn't Latino and that fact that he's in dreadlocks makes it clear. Not Latino, just Ghetto. BLAH
So I meet him at one bar (named Q-Bar) and we have a drink, but that bar is boring and we move on. The next bar is Score, a gay sports bar of all things. We get our drinks, talk a bit, then see these two guys come in. Of course, we're checking out the asses (a, um, habit of mine) and we got a pic of them. LOL, it was so funny so see two guys, waving their camera phones around trying to get ass shots of these two other guys.
Now, of the two, I was focused on the tall, thin, flossy boy with a thick head of hair (a must for me). Erico was focused on the other, all like the first except shaved bald. We drool for a bit, then go out on the patio to enjoy the night air (it was in the 70s). Guess who follows us out. DELICIOUS! So, I position myself to, um, stare at my cutie. While we're talking, Erico is like, I can get their picture. LOL, riiight.
We're going to leave and I say, dude, you forgot the pic. Next thing I know he's gone after them. They're still on the patio whilst I sit at the front door. Then he comes back in with them, they pose, and BAM, I got me my picture. LOL, I wish I had the balls to do that, but I just wasn't drunk enough.
As we're leaving, Erico says, "They almost came over to talk to us. As much as we were checking them out, they were checking us out." Now, Erico ain't much to look at, unless you're into Ghetto, which I'm sure they were not. So I'm thinking they're checking me out and thinking, "What's that poor lil white boy doing with Ghetto??? Let's save and slave him!" OMG, I'm so bad.
Next stop is eXile. I haven't been there in a while, and I was right. Not someplace to hang out. We were there long enough for me to find small, dark, and studly, only for him to get away. So, Erico, me, and this guy go down the street to the Sunset bar. Um, GHETTO! We had a very overpriced, under liquored drink, then left.
Next stop, Tradewinds. Ah, a little piece of gay heaven floating just above the slime of the sewers. It's a nice place, just a bit creepy at times. So in we go, liquor up, and start browsing. Out on the patio we find out that the studly duo from Score has hiccuped their way to Tradewinds whilst we adventured. However, we only found the bald one, not my tasty lil hunk of manflesh.
So I start moving around when I bump into Scott, this guy I worked with over 10 years ago and sorta kinda had a crush on. This was before he came out, so all's good. We talked a minute, then we break off. Then I'm heading back inside and wooo, there's Scott again, with his partner of 7 years. BITCH! He comes out and finds his LTR in under a year. GAH!!!
Anyway, they're there with Trevor, who's having his birthday. SO, me being the giver that I am, I give him a b-day kiss. I thought that would be a good gift for someone I don't know. Evidently not. Next thing I know his hand is down my pants copping a feel. He did that 3 times in the course of 10 minutes. Somewhere along the line Scott disappeared, so I was entertaining Trevor (so much fun), when next thing I know SOMEONE ELSE'S hand is now down my pants. WTF! I turn around just in time to here Scott say, "Yay, I got to feel it too. Very nice, David!" LOL
So, I dance a bit, do a few jell-o shots, have fun. Then I go out to torment hot dog boy. He's a guy I know that runs a hot dog stand outside the bar. He's funny, witty, charming, and not much else. I love to torture him. Of course, as I'm doing that, I'm looking around and I see this dude walking up wearing sun glasses. I'm just looking at him, not thinking anything much, and he says, "I'm not going to tell you who I am."
WELL DUH! "I know exactly who you are, Tony. I just didn't expect to see you here." Hehehe, last time I saw him he was married and a successful realtor. I guess last time I did business with him (about 2004) he was still the above. During 2005 he came out, divorced his wife, got a nasty settlement, and has since been getting as much dick as he can. We talk for a bit as I walk to his car and, before he leaves, he says, "Here's my number, give me a call sometime and we'll have some fun."
I almost forgot how good I am at finding trouble to get into. Of course, that's not all that happened that night. I do remember what happened, but they're a little x-rated for a simple post. Let's just say that, somewhere in the night, the horny lil slut I keep locked up escaped his chains. There was this cute boy, some porn, and... :)
Um, wait. I lied. Let's just say the cute boy went away unsatisfied. No bareback with strangers, fucktard! The porn was still there, and I got off 3 times in two hours before I passed out. I really wanted to go for a record...
GODS, I shouldn't write about my adventures. Even I think I'm a slut.
A domani!
Here we go:
So, anyway, I've come to the conclusion that alcohol and gay men are not a good mix. "Details, boyo", I hear you say. "Details!"
Let's just say that I went out on a "date" to see if me and this dude were compatible. You know, it's one of those sites where you have the option of not showing the face. He said his name was Erico, so I was thinking "Latino". Latino I can do. So, we're talking (before the date) and his voice isn't Latino and that fact that he's in dreadlocks makes it clear. Not Latino, just Ghetto. BLAH
So I meet him at one bar (named Q-Bar) and we have a drink, but that bar is boring and we move on. The next bar is Score, a gay sports bar of all things. We get our drinks, talk a bit, then see these two guys come in. Of course, we're checking out the asses (a, um, habit of mine) and we got a pic of them. LOL, it was so funny so see two guys, waving their camera phones around trying to get ass shots of these two other guys.
Now, of the two, I was focused on the tall, thin, flossy boy with a thick head of hair (a must for me). Erico was focused on the other, all like the first except shaved bald. We drool for a bit, then go out on the patio to enjoy the night air (it was in the 70s). Guess who follows us out. DELICIOUS! So, I position myself to, um, stare at my cutie. While we're talking, Erico is like, I can get their picture. LOL, riiight.
We're going to leave and I say, dude, you forgot the pic. Next thing I know he's gone after them. They're still on the patio whilst I sit at the front door. Then he comes back in with them, they pose, and BAM, I got me my picture. LOL, I wish I had the balls to do that, but I just wasn't drunk enough.
As we're leaving, Erico says, "They almost came over to talk to us. As much as we were checking them out, they were checking us out." Now, Erico ain't much to look at, unless you're into Ghetto, which I'm sure they were not. So I'm thinking they're checking me out and thinking, "What's that poor lil white boy doing with Ghetto??? Let's save and slave him!" OMG, I'm so bad.
Next stop is eXile. I haven't been there in a while, and I was right. Not someplace to hang out. We were there long enough for me to find small, dark, and studly, only for him to get away. So, Erico, me, and this guy go down the street to the Sunset bar. Um, GHETTO! We had a very overpriced, under liquored drink, then left.
Next stop, Tradewinds. Ah, a little piece of gay heaven floating just above the slime of the sewers. It's a nice place, just a bit creepy at times. So in we go, liquor up, and start browsing. Out on the patio we find out that the studly duo from Score has hiccuped their way to Tradewinds whilst we adventured. However, we only found the bald one, not my tasty lil hunk of manflesh.
So I start moving around when I bump into Scott, this guy I worked with over 10 years ago and sorta kinda had a crush on. This was before he came out, so all's good. We talked a minute, then we break off. Then I'm heading back inside and wooo, there's Scott again, with his partner of 7 years. BITCH! He comes out and finds his LTR in under a year. GAH!!!
Anyway, they're there with Trevor, who's having his birthday. SO, me being the giver that I am, I give him a b-day kiss. I thought that would be a good gift for someone I don't know. Evidently not. Next thing I know his hand is down my pants copping a feel. He did that 3 times in the course of 10 minutes. Somewhere along the line Scott disappeared, so I was entertaining Trevor (so much fun), when next thing I know SOMEONE ELSE'S hand is now down my pants. WTF! I turn around just in time to here Scott say, "Yay, I got to feel it too. Very nice, David!" LOL
So, I dance a bit, do a few jell-o shots, have fun. Then I go out to torment hot dog boy. He's a guy I know that runs a hot dog stand outside the bar. He's funny, witty, charming, and not much else. I love to torture him. Of course, as I'm doing that, I'm looking around and I see this dude walking up wearing sun glasses. I'm just looking at him, not thinking anything much, and he says, "I'm not going to tell you who I am."
WELL DUH! "I know exactly who you are, Tony. I just didn't expect to see you here." Hehehe, last time I saw him he was married and a successful realtor. I guess last time I did business with him (about 2004) he was still the above. During 2005 he came out, divorced his wife, got a nasty settlement, and has since been getting as much dick as he can. We talk for a bit as I walk to his car and, before he leaves, he says, "Here's my number, give me a call sometime and we'll have some fun."
I almost forgot how good I am at finding trouble to get into. Of course, that's not all that happened that night. I do remember what happened, but they're a little x-rated for a simple post. Let's just say that, somewhere in the night, the horny lil slut I keep locked up escaped his chains. There was this cute boy, some porn, and... :)
Um, wait. I lied. Let's just say the cute boy went away unsatisfied. No bareback with strangers, fucktard! The porn was still there, and I got off 3 times in two hours before I passed out. I really wanted to go for a record...
GODS, I shouldn't write about my adventures. Even I think I'm a slut.
A domani!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Glory
Yay me! Just when I hit the darkest moments, and have plans of returning to darkness, I meet someone who is interested in me. ME, of all people. LOL!
I'm not going to say anymore about him, right now. I'm going to let things work out as they will. When we reach the point that, say, I'm showing him off to my friends, then I'll be back to yell to the world about my beautiful man.
OK, blog over. I just wanted to let people know of my excitement.
Ciao, tutti!
I'm not going to say anymore about him, right now. I'm going to let things work out as they will. When we reach the point that, say, I'm showing him off to my friends, then I'll be back to yell to the world about my beautiful man.
OK, blog over. I just wanted to let people know of my excitement.
Ciao, tutti!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Dumped
Yep, dumped again, and this time we didn't even meet face to fucking face. What is it with guys nowadays? I ask you, any of you! Gods, what does it take to get a date and then a 2d date? I mean, I'm all about the NSA hookups and shit, but that's getting so fucking OLD! (um, that's the hookups, not me!)
Then, of all things, the only kind of relationship I seem to be able to build is with guys that do not live near me. Toledo, Ontario, New Mexico, SCOTLAND! All this would be OK if I were still the millionaire playboy (or is it playgirl for gays?) that I thought I once was.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bad and face the world. Tomorrow, I sleep in!
Then, of all things, the only kind of relationship I seem to be able to build is with guys that do not live near me. Toledo, Ontario, New Mexico, SCOTLAND! All this would be OK if I were still the millionaire playboy (or is it playgirl for gays?) that I thought I once was.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bad and face the world. Tomorrow, I sleep in!
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Goodbyes
Last night, I was suddenly reminded how hard saying goodbye can be. Especially when you have to say goodbye to someone you love and that person doesn't know how you feel about them. Let's examine the case of Travis and Kevin, two roommates. Travis is gay and out. Kevin says he is not.
They've lived together for 4 years and have become really good friends. Throughout all this time, Travis has repeatedly hit on Kevin. Of course, Travis' gaydar is in fine working order, so he has pegged Kevin from the very beginning. Kevin repeatedly puts him off, but does things that are, shall we say, questionable for a straight man. For instance, leaving the bathroom door wide open when he showers, leaving the bedroom door open when he masturbates, saying "not tonight" when asked if he's like a bj, or wearing just boxers around a gay man. Stuff that a "normal" heterosexual man would not do.
According to Travis, Kevin is leaving for Washington (the state) for school. Whether undergrad or post-grad, I don't know. There's already a kind of tension in the apartment. Kevin has been hanging around Travis a lot more, but Travis is just not noticing. After four of being around Kevin (btw- Kevin is very good looking), Travis is just not as interested or observant as he used to be.
SO, last night I'm talking to Travis via the net and I told him exactly what to do to find out if Kevin is gay or not. Without going into all the details, let's just jump to the end and say it worked. Yes, I'm THAT good! Kevin kisses Travis, rather nervously, and says he'll be back in a few and leaves the house.
Almost an hour passes and Kevin isn't back. Travis finally calls Kevin to make sure everything is alright. Kevin is at the airport and is leaving for WA that night. He tells Travis he is sorry for doing it this way, but Travis is pissed and not listening.
Travis goes to Kevin's bedroom and finds that it has been cleaned out. There is a note to Travis on the dresser saying that he, Kevin, is sorry. He has wanted to be with Travis, to kiss him, to have him in his bed, for years, but was afraid. It ends, "You'll always be one of my best friends. Love, Kevin."
Travis is very angry. I keep trying to tell him not to take it so personally. Kevin is scared. It took a lot of courage for him to admit that he loved you, for him to kiss you, to come to the realization that he is gay. Then, to have to say goodbye and move to another state? Not even I would have been prepared for something like that.
Hell, I'm one that is known for not saying goodbyes. If it's hard, I just vanish into the dark of the night, the light of the day, fade away with the wind. I've done it before, chances are I'll probably do it again. If I don't want to say goodbye, I am just gone. Ask my family, ask my friends. Yeah, I'm a bitch like that.
Hopefully Travis understands and forgives Kevin. Hopefully my friends forgive me (my family has). You just have to understand, "goodbye" is a word that is hard to hear, but is even harder to say. I know. In the past 3 months two of my friends moved out of state and neither one said goodbye to me. But, you know, they have to do what is right for them. I don't hold it against them
Well, this blog is getting too morose. I promise, next blog I will tell you... Um, not that. How about... NAH, too pornographic. Maybe... Well, we'll see about that one. :)
Buongiorno, ragazzi!
They've lived together for 4 years and have become really good friends. Throughout all this time, Travis has repeatedly hit on Kevin. Of course, Travis' gaydar is in fine working order, so he has pegged Kevin from the very beginning. Kevin repeatedly puts him off, but does things that are, shall we say, questionable for a straight man. For instance, leaving the bathroom door wide open when he showers, leaving the bedroom door open when he masturbates, saying "not tonight" when asked if he's like a bj, or wearing just boxers around a gay man. Stuff that a "normal" heterosexual man would not do.
According to Travis, Kevin is leaving for Washington (the state) for school. Whether undergrad or post-grad, I don't know. There's already a kind of tension in the apartment. Kevin has been hanging around Travis a lot more, but Travis is just not noticing. After four of being around Kevin (btw- Kevin is very good looking), Travis is just not as interested or observant as he used to be.
SO, last night I'm talking to Travis via the net and I told him exactly what to do to find out if Kevin is gay or not. Without going into all the details, let's just jump to the end and say it worked. Yes, I'm THAT good! Kevin kisses Travis, rather nervously, and says he'll be back in a few and leaves the house.
Almost an hour passes and Kevin isn't back. Travis finally calls Kevin to make sure everything is alright. Kevin is at the airport and is leaving for WA that night. He tells Travis he is sorry for doing it this way, but Travis is pissed and not listening.
Travis goes to Kevin's bedroom and finds that it has been cleaned out. There is a note to Travis on the dresser saying that he, Kevin, is sorry. He has wanted to be with Travis, to kiss him, to have him in his bed, for years, but was afraid. It ends, "You'll always be one of my best friends. Love, Kevin."
Travis is very angry. I keep trying to tell him not to take it so personally. Kevin is scared. It took a lot of courage for him to admit that he loved you, for him to kiss you, to come to the realization that he is gay. Then, to have to say goodbye and move to another state? Not even I would have been prepared for something like that.
Hell, I'm one that is known for not saying goodbyes. If it's hard, I just vanish into the dark of the night, the light of the day, fade away with the wind. I've done it before, chances are I'll probably do it again. If I don't want to say goodbye, I am just gone. Ask my family, ask my friends. Yeah, I'm a bitch like that.
Hopefully Travis understands and forgives Kevin. Hopefully my friends forgive me (my family has). You just have to understand, "goodbye" is a word that is hard to hear, but is even harder to say. I know. In the past 3 months two of my friends moved out of state and neither one said goodbye to me. But, you know, they have to do what is right for them. I don't hold it against them
Well, this blog is getting too morose. I promise, next blog I will tell you... Um, not that. How about... NAH, too pornographic. Maybe... Well, we'll see about that one. :)
Buongiorno, ragazzi!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Phases II
Remember when what I said about phases? Well, guess what, it's MY TURN! OMG, I've seen so many hot guys lately, I can't handle it anymore. My hormone level must be skyrocketing because every other thought is purely sexual. Hell, even I find myself saying hi to guys on the net, at the stores, on the streets...
I've even gotten myself a fetish, weird as it is. For instance, I work at a deli. Cute guys from OSU, amongst other places, come in all the time to get food. I even find myself fighting the other girls to server the hot boys. I noticed the other day that, when I'm handing my meat to them, I'm doing it in such a way that our hands touch. Then I gage the body heat of each person, warmer or cooler than mine, how erotic their touch makes me feel. Last Sunday, this really cute guy dressed mostly in black, came in. I served him and handed him my meat (sounds dirty, don't it) and our hands touched and lingered. I felt this wild tingly sensation all through my body and an unexpected flush of pleasure in my groin. WHOA, SO HOT!!!
Now I find myself back on the sites, cruising the pics, looking at the profiles, talking... Yes, me, talking, holding actual conversations that go above "stats", "you're hot", "do me now"... And, to me, these guys are GORGEOUS! I've even put myself on a couple of dating sites. On one, my "perfect" match, the man who is 100% on their scale, is 26 years old and great looking. Of course, getting him to chat is hard, but I'm working on it. I hear it now, "he's too young!" I'm hear to tell you all, bite me. If this works out, you all do not have the right to judge.
But, I do have a date almost set up for Saturday. Dude wanted me to come to his place in Marion for a dinner and movie, but I said no. Sorry, there are too many freaks out there. I'm not going all the way out to Marion, a place I've only been to once, to have dinner with a guy I do not know, and take the chance that I'm not going to BE the dinner. :) I think he's OK with him coming to Columbus for dinner and a movie, my treat, but I'm not sure. But, once again, here are my friends shouting, "28 is too young!" Once again, here's my cock, bite it!
Then there's this very HOT and TASTY guy on a hookup site I frequent. I've seen his picture before, and tried to initiate a conversation, only to have him disappear. No I found him and am getting some details out of him. Damn, but he's fine. We have some things in common, but, once again, he's 28. Still, he's on a hookup site, and I might be able to get him in the sack for some David-Time. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm such a slut. BUT, remember how long it's been since I had any action? Me either, it's been that long.
SO, I decided that a night on the town is just what I need. I talk to my friend, Mr.Mark, and we're going out, hit the major spots, probably go to dancing, and pick up 2 boys for us. One for me and him and one for his sexy-hot roommate, Candice.
I'll be glad when I work through this sex phase. Of course, the only way to work through it is to actually WORK IT! How long do you need to go before you forget what you're doing? I know the motions, but that's the end part. I can't remember which parts to kiss, which get sucked, which get licked... Ooops, too much information. :)
Well, I'm off to drool over the boys, ragazzi!
Ci vediamo
I've even gotten myself a fetish, weird as it is. For instance, I work at a deli. Cute guys from OSU, amongst other places, come in all the time to get food. I even find myself fighting the other girls to server the hot boys. I noticed the other day that, when I'm handing my meat to them, I'm doing it in such a way that our hands touch. Then I gage the body heat of each person, warmer or cooler than mine, how erotic their touch makes me feel. Last Sunday, this really cute guy dressed mostly in black, came in. I served him and handed him my meat (sounds dirty, don't it) and our hands touched and lingered. I felt this wild tingly sensation all through my body and an unexpected flush of pleasure in my groin. WHOA, SO HOT!!!
Now I find myself back on the sites, cruising the pics, looking at the profiles, talking... Yes, me, talking, holding actual conversations that go above "stats", "you're hot", "do me now"... And, to me, these guys are GORGEOUS! I've even put myself on a couple of dating sites. On one, my "perfect" match, the man who is 100% on their scale, is 26 years old and great looking. Of course, getting him to chat is hard, but I'm working on it. I hear it now, "he's too young!" I'm hear to tell you all, bite me. If this works out, you all do not have the right to judge.
But, I do have a date almost set up for Saturday. Dude wanted me to come to his place in Marion for a dinner and movie, but I said no. Sorry, there are too many freaks out there. I'm not going all the way out to Marion, a place I've only been to once, to have dinner with a guy I do not know, and take the chance that I'm not going to BE the dinner. :) I think he's OK with him coming to Columbus for dinner and a movie, my treat, but I'm not sure. But, once again, here are my friends shouting, "28 is too young!" Once again, here's my cock, bite it!
Then there's this very HOT and TASTY guy on a hookup site I frequent. I've seen his picture before, and tried to initiate a conversation, only to have him disappear. No I found him and am getting some details out of him. Damn, but he's fine. We have some things in common, but, once again, he's 28. Still, he's on a hookup site, and I might be able to get him in the sack for some David-Time. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm such a slut. BUT, remember how long it's been since I had any action? Me either, it's been that long.
SO, I decided that a night on the town is just what I need. I talk to my friend, Mr.Mark, and we're going out, hit the major spots, probably go to dancing, and pick up 2 boys for us. One for me and him and one for his sexy-hot roommate, Candice.
I'll be glad when I work through this sex phase. Of course, the only way to work through it is to actually WORK IT! How long do you need to go before you forget what you're doing? I know the motions, but that's the end part. I can't remember which parts to kiss, which get sucked, which get licked... Ooops, too much information. :)
Well, I'm off to drool over the boys, ragazzi!
Ci vediamo
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Totally Hiralrious
OK, just so ya know, I work with this woman whom I shall call GrannyC. Now, GrannyC is an extremely nice, but exceptionally horny, woman. But, as the name implies, she's somewhat older than me, in her 50s. GrannyC knows I'm gay and doesn't give a damn. Neither does it stop her from trying to get me into the sack.
For some reason, probably at my instigation (I don't recall), the conversation drifted to sex. Ah, such a loverly topic. However, were we talking about gay sex (of which I am a master)? No. Were we talking about breeder sex, of which I've seen on cheesey porn and read about? No. We're talking about lesbian sex! GAH, like any of us there have a clue.
GrannyC just couldn't understand what lesbians do for sex. I just said they have their mouths, teeth, fingers, and ever present toys. She laughed and asked, "Really?"
"You got your dildo, if one just wants to give her partner something whilst they make out. Then hey have strap-ons, which can be used if one wants to hump the other. Then they have two-way strap-ons, which is used if they want to hump each other. Then, of course, some of them vibrate."
OMG, everyone laughed their collected asses off. Then I said, "For us gay boys, when both of us want to bottom, we have our own two ways." At the blanks looks, I continued, "It's a rod with a penis type thing on both ends. First, insert one end into the first guy, then other lines himself up and backs onto the other end. If necessary, flip the switch for the vibrator and enjoy."
Geez, I need a boy. Better yet, I need a vibrator. Never heard of a boy with a vibrating penis, have you? If you have, lemme know. Hell, I'll even pay for... Nah!
Well, GrannyC and the other ladies were rolling. The only way things coulda been funnier is if I had an orgasm from laughter.
Then, GrannyC says, "Well, hell, if they use a strap-on, why don't they get themselves a man and use the real thing."
Ah, gay boy to the rescue. "It's like this, except in reverse. I want a hole to stick my rod in (or have someone's rod in my hole, whatev). While your hole might do (pointing to GrannyC) I don't want what goes with it: soft skin, curves, breasts, and all that shyt that makes you a woman. I want hair, muscles, coarse skin, the musky scent of his sweat, the feel of his beard on me as he nibbles my..." Ok, you get the picture.
I think I satisfied the ladies on what lesbians do in the sack, and I satisfied my funny bone (I said bone, he he he). Now, if I could just get a man/boi to date me, I could have real stories to tell them of what happened the night before. Mmmm, the stories I could tell. Wait, I've already told them!
Ciao ragazzi, sweet dreams.
For some reason, probably at my instigation (I don't recall), the conversation drifted to sex. Ah, such a loverly topic. However, were we talking about gay sex (of which I am a master)? No. Were we talking about breeder sex, of which I've seen on cheesey porn and read about? No. We're talking about lesbian sex! GAH, like any of us there have a clue.
GrannyC just couldn't understand what lesbians do for sex. I just said they have their mouths, teeth, fingers, and ever present toys. She laughed and asked, "Really?"
"You got your dildo, if one just wants to give her partner something whilst they make out. Then hey have strap-ons, which can be used if one wants to hump the other. Then they have two-way strap-ons, which is used if they want to hump each other. Then, of course, some of them vibrate."
OMG, everyone laughed their collected asses off. Then I said, "For us gay boys, when both of us want to bottom, we have our own two ways." At the blanks looks, I continued, "It's a rod with a penis type thing on both ends. First, insert one end into the first guy, then other lines himself up and backs onto the other end. If necessary, flip the switch for the vibrator and enjoy."
Geez, I need a boy. Better yet, I need a vibrator. Never heard of a boy with a vibrating penis, have you? If you have, lemme know. Hell, I'll even pay for... Nah!
Well, GrannyC and the other ladies were rolling. The only way things coulda been funnier is if I had an orgasm from laughter.
Then, GrannyC says, "Well, hell, if they use a strap-on, why don't they get themselves a man and use the real thing."
Ah, gay boy to the rescue. "It's like this, except in reverse. I want a hole to stick my rod in (or have someone's rod in my hole, whatev). While your hole might do (pointing to GrannyC) I don't want what goes with it: soft skin, curves, breasts, and all that shyt that makes you a woman. I want hair, muscles, coarse skin, the musky scent of his sweat, the feel of his beard on me as he nibbles my..." Ok, you get the picture.
I think I satisfied the ladies on what lesbians do in the sack, and I satisfied my funny bone (I said bone, he he he). Now, if I could just get a man/boi to date me, I could have real stories to tell them of what happened the night before. Mmmm, the stories I could tell. Wait, I've already told them!
Ciao ragazzi, sweet dreams.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Phases
OK, I know I've been away, but this gay boy has been trying to date again. Unfortunately, I keep failing. It's either I do NOT get the date, the date doesn't show up, or there is no 2d date. Tell me, people, am I so fucking ugly that guys think I'm some kind of troll just looking for sex? I mean, not that sex wouldn't be bad, but I am trying to date guys my age (against my own judgment).
Speaking of sex, I either need to get more or start jacking off more frequently. I'm going to be honest and very frank about this (not like I never have been in the past). I was watching this particularly tasty piece of internet porn this morning. The usual happened: clothes off, masturbation, etc. When the orgasm hit, WOW! I haven't felt that good since... Well I don't know when. Totally intense.
But, I digress.
As I was saying, I'm trying to date. I use various online sites since I have few friends to help me and I don't hit the bars/clubs like I used to. Not because I'm getting old, but because cash flow is limited. Anyhoo, I go through weeks of nothing then BAM, I feel like I'm the hottest stud on the net. I got guys of all ages, races, builds, lengths, ecc. after me. I really wish I was the whore I make myself out to be, because I would have no lack of booty calls.
Then again, I was painfully reminded of what being a whore can do to you. A friend of mine, whom no one knows, told me the other day that he tested HIV+ in early January. Not only could he not tell me how long he'd been positive, he had no clue who infected him. C'mon, people! Unsafe sex is like Russian Roulette! While the percentage of gay men who have HIV is significantly lower that the number who don't, do you really want to take that chance? All it takes is 1 out of 100 and you've gotten a life sentence that can NOT receive parole!
Again, I digress.
I have talked to sever men online, flirted with them, traded the pics, ecc. I finally asked one of them out on a coffee date. Of course, he doesn't live in the area, so the next time he comes to Columbus, with enough notice, we'll meet. He thinks I'm good looking, and I know for a fact that he is. 'Scuse me whilst I wipe away the drool. Anyway, I hope it's soon and I hope it works out. Not that there's anything wrong with being single, but I just miss the feel of a warm body at night, someone to talk to, to care about, and who is NOT family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, RatBoy most of all, but...
SO, I'm back, I'm blogging, and I'm feeling especially randy. Don't be surprised if new blogs of the most tasty nature begin to appear. If they don't, that just means I'm busy trying to get stuff that'll drive you mad! LMAO
Anyway, here's another test thingy i did:
dream boyfriend
Take the quiz:
What will your dream boyfriend be like?
Your dream boyfriend will be a surfer. He'll be tanned, toned and laid back. This outdoorsy type is free spirited and lets it all hang out. His passion for surfing keeps him in perfect shape for riding the waves, or riding you!
Quiz by JustGuys.net - Find Hot Guys. Take the quiz
OK, considering the types of guy I tend to fall for, this picture says it ALL!
Speaking of sex, I either need to get more or start jacking off more frequently. I'm going to be honest and very frank about this (not like I never have been in the past). I was watching this particularly tasty piece of internet porn this morning. The usual happened: clothes off, masturbation, etc. When the orgasm hit, WOW! I haven't felt that good since... Well I don't know when. Totally intense.
But, I digress.
As I was saying, I'm trying to date. I use various online sites since I have few friends to help me and I don't hit the bars/clubs like I used to. Not because I'm getting old, but because cash flow is limited. Anyhoo, I go through weeks of nothing then BAM, I feel like I'm the hottest stud on the net. I got guys of all ages, races, builds, lengths, ecc. after me. I really wish I was the whore I make myself out to be, because I would have no lack of booty calls.
Then again, I was painfully reminded of what being a whore can do to you. A friend of mine, whom no one knows, told me the other day that he tested HIV+ in early January. Not only could he not tell me how long he'd been positive, he had no clue who infected him. C'mon, people! Unsafe sex is like Russian Roulette! While the percentage of gay men who have HIV is significantly lower that the number who don't, do you really want to take that chance? All it takes is 1 out of 100 and you've gotten a life sentence that can NOT receive parole!
Again, I digress.
I have talked to sever men online, flirted with them, traded the pics, ecc. I finally asked one of them out on a coffee date. Of course, he doesn't live in the area, so the next time he comes to Columbus, with enough notice, we'll meet. He thinks I'm good looking, and I know for a fact that he is. 'Scuse me whilst I wipe away the drool. Anyway, I hope it's soon and I hope it works out. Not that there's anything wrong with being single, but I just miss the feel of a warm body at night, someone to talk to, to care about, and who is NOT family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, RatBoy most of all, but...
SO, I'm back, I'm blogging, and I'm feeling especially randy. Don't be surprised if new blogs of the most tasty nature begin to appear. If they don't, that just means I'm busy trying to get stuff that'll drive you mad! LMAO
Anyway, here's another test thingy i did:
dream boyfriend
What will your dream boyfriend be like?
Your dream boyfriend will be a surfer. He'll be tanned, toned and laid back. This outdoorsy type is free spirited and lets it all hang out. His passion for surfing keeps him in perfect shape for riding the waves, or riding you!
Quiz by JustGuys.net - Find Hot Guys. Take the quiz
OK, considering the types of guy I tend to fall for, this picture says it ALL!
Monday, November 05, 2007
What type of gay man am I?
What type of gay guy are you?
You are the committed type! You like to have one boy and you don't want to share him. You don't need anyone else but him. You're into fucking him every night and no one else.
Quiz by JustGuys.net - Find Hot Guys. Take the quiz
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