Relationships Suck

Two weeks of pure bliss followed by 4 days of absolute misery.

Gods, half the things I want to say are too cruel and the other half I have no way of articulating. Let me just say that for the first time in 15 years I let someone touch my heart. I found myself falling for him. Now my heart lies in shreds and I... I don't know.

In the course of one evening something I said, something that I don't have any clue as to what it was, turned the guy I was beginning to love into a bitter, hateful man. He won't talk to me in person, he won't return my phone calls, and his emails are full of anger. He refuses to tell me what I said that hurt him so much and he won't accept my apologies.

It has taken several days just to get to the point that I can function normally again. I asked him one last time to talk with me, but now I find myself unable to read the email. I'm afraid... No, I'm terrified that there will be more hate in the email. I just can't take any more right now.

Regardless, until I can pull myself back together, I'm taking some time off. I need to get back to my roots, so I'm heading for the hills for a few days. Maybe then, after I've come back to myself, I can find a way to either come back to him or leave him.