Fun Times

ALERT: SOME QUESTIONABLE MATERIAL IS INCLUDED, READER BEWARE

Well, last night was a trip and a half. I have had a good/bad week. Enough so that the level of frustration I was carrying was crazy. So I knew, that if I went out, I'd be on a MAJOR drunk. I had a plan, and the plan was fun.

As soon as I arrive at the bar, I hand my keys over to Mark, order my drinks, and just get started.

NOTE: Normally I protect the innocent, but last night there were no innocents. Ergo, all names are real.

As Mark is making the drinks, I'm tormenting Candace and I see this guy walk in. I'm like, I know that lovely piece of flesh, not as well as I'd like, but I still know him. I ask Candace, "Is that Neil?" She's like, "Yeah." So I start to wave at him like a fool and, after a few seconds of blank looks, he gets this really goofy grin and comes over.

Just so you know, Neil is a pretty little straight boy who loves to hang out at gay bars. But, he lets me hit on me, smell him, touch him, feel him up (to a certain point). I love Neil because he is so cool. Now, Neil has a girlfriend that no one, but Candace and Neil, has ever seen. We pretty much believe that he's really a closet case and he uses the "girlfriend" story to get the boys at bay.

Now that you know that, Neil tells me that the girlfriend is supposed to be there, but she hasn't shown up yet and he can't get hold of her. Yeah, right...

We're talking with Candace and just generally goofing around. For some reason, Candace mentions that she's Neil's bodyguard. Then the logic centers of my brain go haywire and I'm like, "Well, I belong to Candace tonight. So, if she's you're bodyguard then so am I. She'll watch your front and I'll have your back." Meaning, she'll take care of the front and I'll DO his back end.

His reaction was so funny! He's like NO NO NO NO. I was laughing so hard tears were forming.

Anyway, there we are, happily getting drunk(er) and we're just going along and in comes Tom. Well, Tom and I hit it off fairly well at Mark's birthday party about a month before, but, well, for whatever reason he never responded to me at all, so fuck him. He stayed away for a while, but eventually came and sat beside me and Neil, but I ignored him, so all was good.

Anyhoo, as we're getting drunker, I bring up a subject that I have heard before, but never really understood. I have been told that a top needs to fuck an ass the same way a straight boy fucks a pussy. I have my new straight boyfriend here beside me, who's had more experience with pussy than me (meaning, he's had sex with a girl at least 1 time). So I ask, "How do you fuck a pussy?"

LOL, the look on his face was rather dumbfounded. I urge him on and he finally says, "Well first you kiss her..." DUMBASS!

"Dude, I'm the master of foreplay. Ask any guy I've been with. Skip that part and get to the fucking part."

"Uhhh"

"Dude. Once you get yourself hard and you're ready, to you just slam it in and go, do you ease it in, go fast, go slow, move in circles, WHAT?"

"Well, it really depends. When you're ready, you line yourself up with her help (more fun that way) and then, depending on how tight she is... Well you basically let her tell you... Hi baby!"

I turn and look and there is the girlfriend! DAMMIT!!! So, basically, I never did find out how to fuck a pussy. BUT, his girlfriend is real. Her name's Selena and she's is so totally cool. Shit, all those fantasies of Neil just went down the drain.

I'm still tormenting him, tho, and he says that she'll beat the shit out of me if I don't stop. HEHEHEHE. I go talk to her and ask, "So, if I keep hitting on him and feeling him up, are you going to hurt me?"

"Fuck no, he can take care of himself!" Sweet! I'm going to leave Neil for a bit. Let's just say that, in the course of the night, I got to feel his ass, his dick, the lovely hair on his chest, and I got a full on, tongue wrestling kiss! FUCK YEAH! I think I might have caught that dreaded str8 gene, tho, but it was worth it. I even arm wrestled Selena. It was a draw. I'm totally weak and she works out a lot. Hmmm.

During the course of the evening Jeff shows up. He's the dude from last weekend. He is so nice, so cute, and he thinks the same of me. We had a heart to heart. I know he's not in a relationship with anyone, so I asked if he wanted to go out on a date, dinner and a movie type of shit. I think I touched his heart, because his eyes kinda melted.

We're not, not now, anyway. He wants to get his shit together. He likes me too much to have to deal with some of the crap that's going on in his life. I offered to help him, but he wants to do this on his own. Basically, it's a thing of, when he's ready he will let me know.

We still had a good time. I was trying to write him a poem, but my creatively failed me. Basically, I gave him crap. Right now I'm trying to create a poem that will knock his pants (and underwear) off. I have a few lines, but it's not ready. I'm going to write him a letter (a real letter, not an email) and give it to him next weekend. Poem included.

Well, when the lights flashed on, I kissed Jeff goodnight, hugged Neil and Selena, then waited for Mark and Candace to clean up. We head back to their place and there the night ended.

All in all, it's good. Jeff and I may start seeing each other at some point. I made a new friend with Selena, and I think Neil has a crush on me! LOL

A domani, ragazzi!