Outland: Not Just Another Freak Fest

LOL, sorry. I always wanted to say that about something. It's been an extremely long time since I was at a Goth bar, so I just had to say it. Once upon a time, I was one of the freaks. I was again, last night, but only because I was SOOOO wearing the wrong clothes. Beh, it's all good!

So, anyway, it all started out with str8BF and sexybeast wanting me to go out with them on Saturday. So, I'm like, sure. But, as Saturday wore on, I was getting jitters. I don't mind starting the night by myself, but I HATE going to new places all alone. And, since I'd never been to Outland before, it was becoming a creep sensation.

So I texted my friends, Amber and Jeremy, and asked if they were going out and if they would go with. So, Amber calls her bro, Little Stevie Wonder, and JohnnyRetarded (he asked that I use this name, so don't say it!). Once Little Stevie showed up, we head up to JohnnyRetarded's. TattooBoy, JohnnyRetarded's ungay wife/husband/roommate, was going to go with us, but he ate some really rotten sauerkraut and there was a green miasma floating around, so he decided to stay home.

We had a little fight about where we were going first, and it ended up that Amber wanted to go where the beautiful people play, meaning Union Station. We were there a few weeks ago and there were a LOT of HOT people running around. Last night, eh, not so much. I found a really cute guy, almost pretty, but everyone else was like, nah. (str8 bitches)

Then JohnnyRetarded called str8BF and found that he was at Outland and where the HELL was I? LOL So I said we'd be on our way, but only JohnnyRetarded and Amber thought it was OK, Little Stevie and Jeremy were like, MACS! Personally, I think they should have gone to MACS while the rest of us had fun, but I'm jumping ahead.

So, ANYWAY, we went to Outland and I got frisked by Grim, the first hottie I'd seen that night (sorry JohnnyRetarded). It was cool. He just didn't let his hands linger in any of the right places. Still, to be frisked by a hot guy is always fun.

Then, we go in. Hmmm, kinda disappointing. Not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't as Goth as I'd hoped. Still, the music was good, the clientèle was dark, and the vids were cool. On one screen I was watching "Titan A.E." (one of my faves, I cry every time I see the Earth destroyed by the Dre) and the other was "History of the World, Pt 1" by Mel Brooks.

So, I bought some drinks, drank them, found str8BF and drank his, flirted with a really drunk chick, talked to her bf (she had 4 more before she left), and had fun.

(Side track. Watching Smallville and Cyborg told Aquaman to put his shirt on. Aquaman said the response was "I swim faster when I'm naked. Be glad I still have my pants on." Then Aquaman puts his shirt on. DAMMIT! I wanted the naked part because that boy is FINE!)

Amber told me that Jeremy was getting pissed with me and my jokes. She said he just wasn't getting them and probably should lay off. Little Stevie Wonder was just being a prick. Sitting around, glaring, pissy. He puts most queens to shame. Bugger them.

Then, highlight of my evening, in comes sexybeast! WOOT! I love her, she is so HOT and fun to be around. We danced and had a good time.

Before I knew it, JohnnyRetarded comes up and is like, they're leaving, you ready? Hell no. So, he's like, gimme a sec. Then he comes back. He talked to my str8BF, who lives near me, and I have a ride home. So the unhappy ones left and the rest of us had more fun.

I even was teaching JohnnyRetarded how to dance. When he dances, he's all OVER the place. I tried to get him to understand, dance in a 2 foot box around yourself. Move your body to the beat, but stay in that box. Smile at the girls you bump in to or who bump into you. Always apologize to the guys, unless you find them cute (he was not amused by that). But, then I got a little carried away and some cute girls had to tell me to reign it in. :)

Then, JohnnyRetarded is like, you hook me up and I'll get you any guy you want. Even RedRippedShirt (who I had been eying since we got there). Then he starts picking out girls and I'm like: married, married, bf, bf, lesbian. There weren't many single available chicks there for him. The one girl he picked out was, um, hmmm, not sure (at the time). I just said, she's not for you, but I can't say why. Something about the way she was standing there. Anyway, he said later that she was tongue wrestling another chick.

So I talked up sexybeast, hit on few guys, got one to dance for me (he was really good), met RandyRazor (I think that was his name), who kissed my hand. He was sooo cute. Trying to track him down, but he's being elusive. Then, we left.

Before they took me home, we decided to hit the Steak N Shake for a meal. Straight boys, they're so FUNNY. Both of them are still in their 20s, so they're just young pups. But both of them are afraid to hit double digits on the number of women they've slept with. I'm like, uh, double? Man, been there done that. At least i'm nowhere near the triple digits. yet.

Ragazzi, so ends another night. Kinda on the bland side, but... Guess I'm really going to have to hunt down my Goth shit, again. Actually, I'm going to need to scavenge more. What I used to have just wouldn't fit. I mean, c'mon, that was 50 pounds ago!